Instead of my usual list of hot tips, I thought that this week I would share with you how I had the opportunity to put into practice some of the incredible lessons I have learned on my Wealthwoke journey so far.
As I mentioned last week, my wife, Candice, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
While she desperately wanted to have a natural birth, the baby was in a breach position and despite trying everything, including burning charcoal sticks next to her baby toes for two weeks straight, she eventually had to agree to have a c-section. To complicate matters, my wife developed a complication the day after the c-section and had to go back into theatre 24 hours after giving birth.
On the day of the second surgery, we both experienced strong feelings of resentment about how what we had hoped would be some sort of beautiful natural process had morphed into something altogether less pleasant.
In the past, I would definitely have spiraled into a negative space, but I truly believe the work I have been doing over the last year helped me turn the situation around.
So here are some of the things I did in that moment of crisis.
After two days of no sleep, I was not in a proper state of mind to make good decisions. So, I went home, put my phone on silent and slept for 2 hours. I then woke up and did a 15-minute meditation to fully ground myself.
It may sound selfish but doing this made the world of difference. I went back to the hospital with a clear mind and a completely new attitude and perspective. I was able to be decisive, positive and supportive, which was what was needed in the situation.
Once my mind was rested and focused, I thought about some of the teachings I have come across.
I thought about the Bhagavad Gita, the 3000-year-old Sanskrit scripture, which teaches us to free ourselves from attachments to a particular outcome. The attachment to a result takes hold when we believe that in order to be happy, we must have what we desire, or we should reach some predetermined goal. Equally, this attachment also arises from the anxious anticipation of a strong negative feeling if we do not reach our goal.
I also thought about Lao Tzu, who teaches us that trying to control leads to ruin, trying to grasp, we lose. He tells us to allow your life to unfold naturally. There is a time for being ahead and a time for being behind. There is a time for things not to work out as we anticipate. There is a time for all of it.
Finally, I thought about something my mother always likes to say during dark times: “This too shall pass”.
Before her surgery, I spoke to my wife about these things and encouraged her to let go of her attachment to what she thought this day would be, to surrender the illusion of control and to rather accept this for what it was – as part our journey. We decided to focus on the fact that we had a healthy, beautiful baby girl who needed our love and positive energy.
This initially resulted in her wanting to punch me in the face, but she soon understood what I was trying to say.
I am happy and so grateful to report that all went well and mom and baby are home, happy and doing amazingly. Also happy birthday, Candy!!
Have a great weekend Wealthwokers