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Dear Mo-ney, We Need To Talk!

Dear Mo-ney, we need to talk!

Dear Mo-ney

It’s been a while since we talked, I mean really talked.

I know it’s been a difficult time for you of late, what with the economy dragging itself around like a two legged dog. I’m sure it will pick up soon and you will be back out there changing hands faster than a Kardashian changes husbands.

Anyway, as you may know, I have started a new blog recently, called Wealthwoke ( It’s about redefining our relationship with wealth, so naturally, I have been thinking about you a lot lately.

We go way back, you and I. Over the years we have had our ups and downs. For sure, there were times when you weren’t around enough, especially in my late teens and early twenties, when admittedly, I chose wine (or in my case, beer), women and song over you far too often.

Then there were times when I just didn’t pay much attention to you. I kind of kept you around, but didn’t think about you much more than I absolutely needed to. Funny, the more that I think about it, those were probably our best times.

We’ve had our dark times too. Remember that year when I had my first child on the way and I had just started my business – for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to completely abuse you with all that crazy spending. When that credit card started bouncing like a baby on Grandpa’s knee, I thought you had left me for good. Sorry about that.

I have to admit that there have been some exciting moments too. When my business eventually started succeeding, we were golden. You were around a lot and I could finally breathe easier, knowing that my family and I were secure. How amazing was it that you seemed to be showing up more and more often at the very moment that I was enjoying my business and career the most.

But then a funny thing happened. I think that maybe I became a little obsessed, dare I say infatuated, with you. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I thought about you way too much, sometimes at the most inopportune times – business meetings, family gatherings, sports events, lying in bed at 3am trying to sleep (and yes, maybe even during other nocturnal activities).

I’m not sure how this happened. It started off as kind of a game, and being the competitive achiever that I am, I guess I just wanted to see how much of you I could accumulate. Or maybe there was something far deeper going on.

Maybe I was using you as a crutch, a way to hide my insecurities and fears. Insecurities that I wasn’t enough just on my own, that I didn’t measure up to others in the social circles I was mixing in. Fear that I was going to lose you completely, making me vulnerable in this scary world and not believing I would be strong enough to survive without you.

It’s ironic that at our closest, I felt the most unhappy. My obsession with you led to stress, health problems, sleeplessness, and a lack of physical and emotional capacity to build and maintain strong social relationships with others.

I knew something had to change. I knew I could not continue like that. So even though I could have grown my business further, it just would have meant spending even more time obsessing over you. I would have been no happier. So I decided to sell my business and move on.

Which brings me to my point. While this is difficult to say, and I’m sure even harder to hear…… I think it’s time for us to see other people.

You see, I need to spend more time rebuilding my relationships with friends and family, getting healthy and exploring more about myself and what makes me tick. This may sound crazy to you, but I’m even okay with the fact that this little blogging business venture that I have started may not actually ever be commercially viable – so we probably won’t see each other at work much anymore.

Look, I’m not saying we should break up completely, but it’s clear that our relationship needs some re-evaluation.

I was thinking we could be travel buddies, do some charity work together, the odd birthday or anniversary. And let’s be honest, there is a good chance that for no good reason, I may even come knocking on your door from time to time looking for a booty call. Hey, I’m only human and green is my favourite colour.

Finally, I feel like I should warn you that this might not be the last time you hear this kind of thing from someone. There are others who are starting to understand that their relationship with you may be toxic. My advice to you is to start spending more time with those who really need you and haven’t seen much of you in a long time. I’m sure you will find true happiness there.

Stay in touch and remember…… it’s not you, it’s me.


P.S. Don’t ever…..change

P.P.S. Keep showing me….interest

P.P.P.S. Many happy……returns

Elian Wiener

After growing up in a small dustbowl town, I obtained an honours degree in finance and investment, worked as an asset consultant, financial journalist and corporate communications consultant, started and sold one of the country’s largest PR agencies, got married and divorced, and married again, had two beautiful daughters and fought valiantly (if not always successfully) to dominate the tennis world. Despite these efforts, my greatest journey is still before me – the journey to becoming truly Wealthwoke.

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